By BobLee

With ACC Basketball, matters “of grave concern” have a shelf life of about 48 hours.  Then the next “grave concern” comes along.

Two weeks ago everyone’s #1 worry was “Has Ol’ Roy finally lost it?”  One could not walk 20 feet down Franklin Street without seeing concern etched on faces young and old.

POOF.... Dexter Strickland blows out a knee.  Orthopedic worries overtake psychological ones.  “Can a biscuit boy actually handle PT in a first half? Has that ever been done before?”   The answer is Yes.  Dale Gipple played 3:00 in 1970 versus Wake Forest.  Eddie Fogler had to replace a broken shoelace.

POOF again..... The reaction of a Dean Dome crowd to a certain political celebrity may have forever altered North Carolina politics.   T.J. Yates bounced back from Dean Dome boos pretty well.  Maybe T.J. can advise Bev.

Through all of these, one overriding cloud looms?  I call it The Krakatoa Question because I favor Indonesian mega-volcanoes.  You might call it The San Andreas Question.

When will Ol’ Roy REALLY Explode – aka “The Big One”?

I write about eccentric people doing weird off-the-wall stuff so I hope “Roy & The Big One” lingers as long as similar concerns about The Rapture and The Mayan Calendar.  But it is a concern for Bubba.

Today’s title question:  Can Bubba Housebreak Roy? 
& A Sub-question:  Do we really want Bubba to housebreak Roy?

To the latter; No, I do not want Roy housebroken.  Take “the silly boy” out of Roy and you have Herb Sendak for Heaven’s sake.  Not even State fans wanted THAT.

I did a stand-up routine for years as a UNC AD (pick one) giving Dean or Roy their annual personnel evaluation.  Bob Newhart did this shtick where he played both parts.  His Abe Lincoln was a personal favorite.

We are all familiar with those interminable Kabuki dances twixt employee and employer.

The Scene:  UNC AD’s Office
Bubba & Roy

B:  “Well Coach, here we are.  It’s been another year.  Time flies, huh.  Have a seat.... let’s see what we have here.”

R:  “Is this going to take long?  I have a 10:15 tee time at Old Chatham and…”

B:  “No, no.  Shouldn’t take too long at all.”

R:  “Good.  I’m playing with Doug Moe, Bill Clinton and Sig Freud.   Sigmund cheats…”

B:  “Wow, you really know Doug Moe?  Where was I?  Another good year.  We kept fan expectations high, then jerked the brass ring out of reach in late March.  Excellent!  Keep them loyal but not complacent.  Winning the big one every 5-6 years is about right.  More often than that we’ll have to expand the building just to hold your ego.  Just kidding…”

R:  “Are we done yet?”

B:  “Recruiting looks good.  Let Calipari, Huggins and Calhoun have the hoodlums from those bogus store-front GED diploma mills.  “Tattoos and hairstyles” both seem to be under control.   Oh, and lets keep away from N’yangoro for a year or so.  Let that cool down...”

R:  “Are we done yet?”

B:  “Staff development seems a bit stagnant?  Do those young guys you brought from KU have any career ambition whatsoever?  Does every BB assistant at this school have a Guthridge complex?  Weird...”

R:  “It’s 9:40.  I wanted to hit a bucket of balls...”

B:  “Bear with me.  When I was at Ball State, I met this hypnotist who is doing great things with training pit bulls to purr.  I was thinking of bringing him to Chapel Hill.  Think you might be able to sit down for a session or two?. . .Roy, wait a second. . . come back here. . . ROY! Rats, we never got to that time management issue.  Oh well, maybe next year.”



Reader Comments:   You can contact BobLee at blsays@att.net  Don’t insult his mamma and your comment may get featured here.  BobLee’s Home is www.bobleesays.com

Jeff:  Whatever happened to Neil Fingleton?
BL:  They turned him into “spare parts”.  Look really closely at Zeller’s left thumb.

BarryInCarrboro:  BobLee, do you sit with the Fat Cats in the Lower Level?
BL:  Not the ones that have placed a bounty on my head.   Read some old BLSays columns.  You will learn who THEY are pretty quickly.

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